oAssist in the News by Kathryn Sias (owner of oAssist)

oAssist Press Release – January 25th, 2012 3:27 pm

I'm like a child I'm so happy, we're in the news again. I have to say I should celebritize myself with the help of Marsha and Steve Friedman and publish a book. I think I'll call it "Expose" and risk it all, telling my entire life story along with an "Expose" of some of the companies I consider very bad business choices, particularly the structurd settlement industry. I will strip myself naked and walk down the runway screaming how unfair the giants in the structured settlements industy are. The poor consumers, the poor guys, they're the ones that end up paying the price. Other than my client and maybe a handful of other choices I consider the rest of the structured settlement giants to be corrupt, but that's my humble opinion backed up with tons of public information regarding lawsuits and suggested criminal activity. From where I sit (and I move around a lot) it appears to be a huge mob-like business of big bullies with huge amounts of capital and tons of time on their hands so that they can sue all their competitor's trying to put them out of business. An expose and a criminal investigation indeed! I could be wrong but I'm entitled to my opinion.

Gee I forgot to introduce the subject. We've been in the news lately. A client of ours, Sovereign Funding Group, recently won a lawsuit that JG Wentworth, yes the famous "I want my money now" guy screaming from the windows and / or singing opera on the bus, that's the one who filed a lawsuit against my awesome client. I should make myself clear, it's not me that JG Wentworth is sueing it was Sovereign Funding. My name was tossed around in some of the paperwork that I read, and all because they want to know how me, little ol' me from St. Louis Missouri manipulated Google to get him positioned? First of all, I don't know what they're talking about and if I did I'm not sure I'd help them figure it out without them paying me. Don't you have your own marketing team to ask those type of questions to? Did you not know that google cannot be manipulated in any other way than the most expert seo? How silly of you to ask then?

It's a shame a simple marketing firm like oAssist, or little-ol' me can't be left alone to advertise a client site how we deem appropriate. If you have billionaire competitors who are ready to kick butt and take names later you may be in some deep stuff. I'm serious, from what I can tell there are some serious consumer concerns here. When you have billionaires potentially suing you it can literally put you out of business. What a joke, and are there any legislator's out there willing to help me bring this to the fore? I say bring it on. Yes something needs to be done, you betcha.

My advertising is not sleezy, it was meant to be funny you big dummies. Can't you take a joke, or are you the only ones able to make funny structured settlement commercials? Sorry, my mother didn't raise me to call names, but this is just sad, just sad.

It isn't like I didn't expect to be called a sleeze-ball advertiser from the sleeze-bag structured settlements industry. I truly expected it. It's so funny because I totally expected and welcome it. I can now feel free to write the structured settlements business expose, along with having some fun exposing my own lifes drama whist all along having a great time informing the public in my own way using my own sleezy methods. I can't wait to start writing it. It would be juicy no doubt. From the JG Wentworth lawsuit against my client (which we won by the way) to the mean-mouthed John Darer who so keenly calls himself a watchdog of the structured settlements industry, what a joke. He's the watchdog alright. Doesn't he buy structured settlements and annuities just like the competition he's commenting on? Oh so now I get to watchdog him while he is knocking us for our very funny and I admit, our amatuer spoofs? Duh he's trying to draw attention to himself as a savior in the structured settlements industry. Just more unfair business practice that I hope to "expose". The longer you draw attention to this subject the better off a consumer will be, because I grant you one wish, I will tell my story if it costs everything I have (which is not much, lol) and then some. Can you take half of nothing?

Hey John did you see the professional clips we did? You know, the really good ones? You didn't watchdog those did you? I doubt you got passed the Dolly Pardon Mounds for Mounds you seem pretty taken by the pretty little miss. Wasn't our spoof just the cutest? Come on, at least tell me you had a giggle or two when you saw how big Dolly's spoof and love for our client. I have to say it was nearly over the top and I did almost remove it, but come on now it's a spoof. She (our pretty little Trisha turned Dolly) really has it for my client in this hilarious video. I doubt she'll mind (the real Dolly Pardon) and if she does I will take the spoof down and throw away all of the albums I've collected of hers over the years. Yes I'm old I still have albums. (Dolly) She's a good woman and a fun soul. I think she'll get what I've done, and why. All we're trying to do is attract a demographic of individuals who love this type of advertising. How simple is that? We love Dolly Pardon. I used to try to sing like her as a child. Oh how I remember "Daddy's Hands" it was to die for. My mother used to sing it to me, which still brings tears to my eyes. Dolly please don't make us take your spoof video down on our clients youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/settlemenow I'm so dramatic.

What about our "Time Value of Money" or our "Disclaimer" video as to why we do our amatuer videos? Weren't those professional enough for your taste? My sister Tricia is a doll and don't you dare talk about her again or I will beat you up. (Joking) We're a tough family you betta not talk about her or we'll hafta breaka your legs, (smiles). After all our biggest competition is JG Wentworth and he's singing opera, why are you picking on us when it's him that's been in court countless times, unlike my client with a perfect credit rating, an A+++ BBB rating, and never having gone bankrupt? My questions for you just go on and on and on and on. Oh wait, JG Wentworth? Who is JG Wentworth anyway? That isn't the owner and CEO's real name, it's an actor on a bus.

Now you have me angry and I don't get angry I get noticed!! Don't write about me if it's not going to be fair, or you will have one gentile female turned mad. I think the whole bunch of you need to be in jail, that's what I think. From charging poor people 70% of their settlements years ago, it's on Wikapedia for Gods sake, get a grip, it doesn't appear that you're as honest as you humbly profess but then again who am I? Before I met David Springer I had no clue who you were. When I took his position I did not do a competitor check nor did I care to, you brought yourself to me, not the other way around, can't I at least defend myself? Or am I not financially well enough off to afford to make a statement in regard to all the question and the press regarding myself, my business ethics and my valued clients?  I am merely trying to prove I can write so I get more business for my beloved oAssist.  Hardly!

Everyone except David Springer and a few select others seems to worried about losing a fraction of a share of this business. Is it that big? Thanks for telling me if so I could use some cash.  I'm not trying to be too urban here, as I have a professional reputation to uphold just give me a break for a sec please?  David Springer is one of the most honest men I know and that's saying something coming from my female lips. I am a professional marketer with an attitude, a good attitude too but a strong mind particularly and especially when I see with my own eyes how devious the giants of this industry really are. Oh my gee, when I saw for myself I was agast with fear, at first anyway. I was scared tightless that I would be sued for saying what was on my mind.  I, at first, lost sleep for fear of my clients own emotions and the emotions of his family. Don't put someone through this and not expect to have something said in return. Words are cheap, but your lawsuits aren't.  How dare you, you mean and nasty giant, why should you not be exposed yet again? 

That's our tagline and that's our passion, we are marketing with an attitude and don't you forget it. We don't have to compete, this is what my son tells me anyway and he's right, we have our own market of interesting real people who love us. We're good enough that we can't be concerned about the likes of a lawsuit from an industry giant gone bully.  I don't dress in thousand dollar suits able to afford absolutely anything under the sun, I have one coach bag I'll admit (maybe 10 from ebay but who is counting?)

I love giving official press statements in rebuttle to anything regarding honesty.  Don't get me going, you don't know me. I'm honest to the core and I know David Springer is too.  Furthermore I don't take it lightly when I'm class discriminated against by what appears to be "big boys" in big financial industries, intimidated and frightened nor do I have the time to delve into what my clients competitors are or are not doing. It was intimidating and yes frightening to read my name in the legal papers I saw.  Yes I said class discrimination. I am a mere lowely marketer with no ethics remember? Doesn't everyone scream discrimination when they're unfairly treated? It just might be true?

So my official statement in rebuttle may sound arrogant and bitchy but so be it.  I'm hardly either only when push comes to shove you can bet you'll be the one shoving because I'm like the perfect person you don't want to make mad. You know, the quiet one?

I worry about our own campaigns and our own messages, plain and simple, thanks Nick for reminding me, and not mean-mouthin' competitors (yes I'm a country girl gone city) and had it not been for you making those ridiculous mean-mouthed statements about our not-so-professional advertising (which is perfect in my eyes) then I wouldn't have to make this press statement. Good day and good blogging. I have my opinions too and may God forgive me for my own big-mouth. It's all my Dad's fault so tell him about it not me (smiles). Most everyone who knows me adores me. It's not even in my nature to respond to such foolishness but I couldn't resist a great press release.  What can I say, I'm all about the truth, from my own point of view anyway, and to me that's pretty valuable.

As for professional marketing we proudly take the title as expert internet marketing with proven results. You're just jeolous. And did I tell you how much I love to be in the news? Thanks ya'll for noticing. Now maybe others will take a look at my 35 year track record. From the time I started publishing at age 14 until now age 52 and a grandmother, I've been there done that where marketing is concerned and always, yes I said always acheived my goals and the goals of my clients. Yes I said always. From the most prim and proper marketing to the funniest, I have managed to take some pretty big clients all the way to the top. Now watch how I roll. David Springer is at the top of his game for a reason, and for much the same reason I am. We've worked hard and we deserve it. Oh and thanks for the Kim Kardashian spoof idea. We are almost ready to release it. When we do I will make sure to post.  I'm sure it will be as sleezy as all the others we've done.  You're going to love it, go ahead and admit, you're going to be laughing the entire time through.

oAssist Recent Advertising For Sovereign Funding by Kathryn Sias (owner of oAssist)

oAssist Press Release – January 26th, 2012  1 am

Our Kim Kardashian and Madea spoofs now released. Check them out now along with Tricia's statement regarding my official position regarding what the press has to say about our marketing.